I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
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dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
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Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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