More tranny stories later!
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
bring money and cleavage
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
