before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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