There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Too much gin, very little bucket
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How does one acquire holy water?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
