thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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