Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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