I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
