1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
