what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My dick has a subreddit
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
