You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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