Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
