I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize