I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
