Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize