Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
