i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
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what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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