Nicole vs. Life
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize