i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
