i think i have two assholes
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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