I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
