If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
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went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Semen is not good for contacts.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
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It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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