I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize