At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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