After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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