can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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