i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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