Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
