Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Come on in and take your pants off
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