Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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