After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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