All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
