I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
