Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
