lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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