I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
