Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize