ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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