once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
