It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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