idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm both gender and math confused
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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