I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize