I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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