I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
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