I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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