You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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