It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
