You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
