maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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