btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
