There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
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I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
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COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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