doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I am one with the molecules
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize