$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
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Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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