Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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