Define "chronic" masturbator.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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