I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
