I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
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By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
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I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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