Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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