I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
