Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
